Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Why the Urge to Compare Yourself to Others is Much Deeper Than You Think

One thing we know that makes us unhappy is comparing ourselves to others. It makes us unhappy, because, first of all, it creates an unrealistic expectation. The reason is that you only compare yourself to the person everybody sees, but not to the rest of the person's life that nobody else sees, but which is still there.

So comparing makes you unhappy for no reason. There are ways to overcome the urge to compare yourself to every other person you see and feel more comfortable in your own skin. Click here to read about how to feel comfortable in your own skin.

When we finally stop doing this, there's still something that makes us watch others and wonder how they do certain things. We want to copy them again. But why? We already know that we are happy with our outer appearance and we know that we have everything we need.Why do we still feel insecure with what you do?

I think comparing yourself to others does not end with what you look like or what you own. And even though there are lots of people who are confident with the way they look and who are not jealous of what others own, many of them still find themselves trying to copy others. But this time it's their actions and their behavior. Since these are things coming from the inside, people don't always see it as a comparison. But still, it makes you unhappy. Trying to act like someone else is like trying to fit in a dress that isn't your size; whether it doesn't fit you and looks bad or you wear it, but it's painful.

As you can stop the first type of comparing yourself to others, you can stop the second type which includes characteristics or behavior that come from the inside, too.

I think that many people feel the same way, but just don't know or understand why they still want to be like others. The urge to compare yourself to others can be much deeper thank we think, so we have to take time to overcome it completely and find inner peace.

Not comparing doesn't mean that you shouldn't learn from others' mistakes or find inspiration or motivation in other peoples' success. It's a good thing to watch and learn and it also can be very helpful to have good role models. But by watching them you should form your own shape and not try to fit in other's.

Did you ever catch yourself trying to compare yourself to others? What did you do to overcome this urge? I'd love to read your advice on that topic!

Keep smiling!

Monday, April 11, 2016

How to Relax

After a day full with work and a long, long to-do-list all you want to do is relax. But sometimes relaxing isn't that easy when you start to think about the next day which is going to be super exhausting as well. Here are some tips how not to think about the long to-do-list in your head, so you can finally relax...

1. Listen to Music
You've probably seen people put on their headphones so they wouldn't hear the conversations of others. Probably more than a thousand times. But this works for yourself, too. Whenever I don't want to listen to the voice in my head that tells me the things I still have to do, the work I still have to get done, I take my headphones and start listening to music. It's like filling your mind with music instead of your own thoughts.

2. Knitting
This may sound weird and kind of old-fashioned, but... it really works! I can't tell you why, but just sit down on your most comfortable sofa and start knitting. You'll notice how relaxing it actually is. Maybe it will take a little while until you really realize it, because you already forgot about worrying or thinking about anything;)
If you don't know how to knit there are lots of websites teaching it. It's actually really simple, I'm sure you'll learn it really quickly.

3. Talking to Friends
When you're stressed out you might not want to talk to anybody at all, but talking with your friends and telling each other your worries and thoughts might be really relaxing, because you start to realize that you're not alone. That your friends have worries and problems just as you do and knowing this can b really relaxing. Just try it out!

4. Reading
What? Reading? Yes, reading! I'm not telling you to choose the thickest and most complicated novel after you come back home after work. I recommend simply written novels which tell more or less realistic stories. Why? Because reading stories like these can have a similar effect like talking with your friends. When you read about other peoples' lives, you'll realize that you aren't alone. That there are other people who understand your problems and even write about it. Sometimes just knowing this makes you feel better and relax a little.

I hope these tips will help you when you struggle to relax. Let me know if you know other ways to easily relax, I'd love to hear them!
See you next week.

Keep Smiling!

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Doing without Internet

I'm SUPER sorry I couldn't update my blog for the last two weeks. Unfortunately I didn't have internet access. I know, this sounds horrible and it really had disadvantages as you can see, but during that time wihtout internet access I noticed some important things I'd like to share with you.

First of all the situation was different than voluntarily passing a few days without internet. I didn't choose to do without it. But after all, I think that's what made it so effective.

Without having any opportunity to update my blog or check my messages or even post pictures on Instagram I didn't have to fight against the will to check my phone. I couldn't find excuses like "Only 5 minutes. Just to text back.". Don't we all turn these 5 minutes into 15 or even 30 minutes as soon as we hold our phone in our hands? Well, I said it a thousand times and I'm saying it again: I couldn't find any excuses, I didn't have internet acces, I could do nothing except phoning someone.

So, when I completely forgot about my phone ans the will to check it for new messages, I started doing other things I would normally do. I started with cleaning my room and after that I continued with other things that came into my mind. At the end of the day I suddenly realized how much I'd done that day. Every time I finished doing something I found something new to do and it went on and on like that. I didn't have to take breaks to check my phone what probably would've taken more than 5 minutes since the internet and social media are full of distractions that get you keep saying "One more minute." or "One last click.".

Another thing I realized was while phoning my friends we suddenly had much more things to talk about. Without being able to text for days we couldn't tell each other things we wanted to in short messages without keeping up a real conversation.

As you can see, the internet is taking much more time from us than we think. Next time you wonder where the time has gone, ask yourself how many minutes, hours you have spent checking your phone and got caught by the endless content of the internet and social media.

Of course there are many advantages of the internet, too. I'm not telling you that it's best to completely live wihtout internet. I just wanted to share this experince with you to make you aware of the time we spent with our phones that seems so little, but also distracts us from doing other things for which we might not find any time for.

I think it's a good idea to reduce that time and instead of checking your phone every 30 minutes you could reduce that time to 1 hour. And the next week you could try to only check your phone every 2 hours.

Have you every tried to reduce the time you spent with your phone? Or did you have to pass days without any internet access? I'd love to hear your experiences!

See you next week!

Keep smiling!